'Imagine that your heart is locked away behind lots and lots of gates. When a guy comes along who is interested in you, only put a little, tiny piece of yourself out there. In other words, you don't just give away your whole heart and tell him every single thing about you and in you. Just let him see a small glimpse of who you are and what you hold dear inside you. If he handles that well; if he honors it and treats it like the treasure it is, then maybe you open the first gate and let him through. With each time you put a piece of yourself out there, you see how he handles it. Does he honor and respect it? Is he kind? Does he treat it as a treasure? The moment he doesn't treat you well or handle a piece of who you are well, he doesn't get through the gate. there is only ONE man who will get through all the gates and win your heart, and he is the man who will stand at the altar and vow to love you and protect you the rest of your life. Does this make sense? By doing this, you are protecting your heart, but also allowing someone to get to know you. But not just anybody gets to know you deeply...be careful! Let a man pursue you and see where he leads.'
I cannot agree more! Adding to what Kim beautifully depicts, lock all those gates up and give God the key; let Him control who enters and who doesn't!
The world's 'normal' is 'following your heart', a Christian should know that not everything you 'feel' is permissible...your heart isn't always right, why else would Solomon write, 'Guard your heart above all else, for it is the wellspring of life' ? Something needs 'guarding',only if it is vulnerable to the environment it is in.
How do you 'guard your heart' from yielding to every desire of the flesh?
1. God First
God has instructed us to not be yoked with an unbeliever, however, sometimes, we might find ourselves drawn to someone who is just not on the same spiritual spectrum as us or who doesn't share the same passion for God as us. When we find ourselves in those situations, let us remind ourselves of Matthew 6:33 - Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you - This 'seeking' rule also applies for a potential spouse.
This is important, you've got to realize that by looking for a relationship with someone, you're viewing them as a potential spouse... Thus, if you find yourself allured to someone who doesn't share your love and passion for God, move on, no matter how hard it may be.
2. Make every thought captive in Christ
Easier said than done! I know! However, this is one of the most important measures to take to strive to live a life of purity. Give a little thought to the following quotes:
'Where the mind goes the man follows' ~ Joyce Meyer
'An idle man's brain is the devil's workshop'
'You can't stop birds flying over your head, but you can stop them from building a nest on it' ~ Billy Graham
How true! When you like someone, you're bound to think about them, A LOT! As it is, there is nothing wrong with 'thinking' about a person, however, it is certainly wrong to dwell on the thoughts and turn them into 'mental fantasies'. These can soon, turn from thoughts into actions, and before you know it, you're down a slippery slope! As they say, 'better safe than sorry', so when you catch your mind wandering and fantasizing, pray and ask God to make every thought captive in Christ.
3. No Haste!
Just because everyone around you has a boyfriend/girlfriend, doesn't mean you need one right now too! Wait for God's timing! Many Christian teens I speak to, including myself, agree that purity, in mind and body, is one of the hardest things to maintain. We are pressured to be in a relationship, but remember, don't be hasty! Your hasty response could be the result of a fleeting, temporary, infatuation - True love, grows deeper with time! Strive to preserve those special moments in life for this special one God has predestined you to be with, even your first kiss - remember, that is why the priest, at the altar says, "You may NOW kiss the bride!"
God's timing is always right, wait for Him to show, lead and guide you to 'the one'. God has already chosen someone special for you, you have to wait for Him to reveal this person to you.
God has assigned ONE MAN for ONE WOMAN - obviously, 'free-will' comes in the way, thus we have to find the right person, the ONE that God has preassigned. Don't seek to establish your identity by a relationship, you've got a God who loves you immeasurably, more than anyone on earth ever could, may your identity be rooted in Him. Hence, trust God alone, seek Him and His will first and remember (girls especially!), in the words of Kim Walker, "...you are worth the fight!"
There is a lot more that can be said on this topic, however, I am still learning, thus I'll let the experts do all the talking...
Be sure to read or listen to: Paige Omartian, KimWalker, Practical Purity for Christian Young Ladies, Moriah Peters, Every Young Woman's Battle and Jamie Grace.